I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
