I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
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Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
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His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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