I don't think brook has ever known best
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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