I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
