8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
