smell my finger.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
