is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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