Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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