atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
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I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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