Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
