I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
