I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Success! We fucked roommates!
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