her vagine was all disorganized.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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