booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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