Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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