wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
