According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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