So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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