All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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