he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Pooping to opera.
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