I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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