In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
