I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
