just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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