Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
