dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
