You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's blow job season.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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