i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
