i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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