his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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