just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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