I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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