my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
