Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
