At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
