My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
