Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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