What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
