Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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