So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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