A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
