..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
