he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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