would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
