Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
