Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
