I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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