If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
