So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
