You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
