At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
