Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
