Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
