she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
