how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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