If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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