i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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