I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
