Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
