Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
