I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
