If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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