marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
