just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize