you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
