i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Randomize
