his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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